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Post by Harkovast on Dec 8, 2008 10:07:18 GMT -5
Right, lets play a game. I will answer any question you ask me on this thread. Anything! Any knowledge you seek, the great and all knowing me will provide. Why did the dinosaurs die out?! What would Jesus do?! Anything! I am as all knowing as 118 118, but I don't sometimes send racist jokes! However, because I have no shame, I am going to fit a truly hideous, tenuous plug for my web comic into the answer, while still trying to stay on topic. Let's see if there are any questions that cant be answered through shameless advertising!  "SELLING OUT RULES!" |
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Post by Harkovast on Dec 8, 2008 12:54:07 GMT -5
I'll go one better then that, I'll tell you the answers. They are (in reverse order) 1) No, this is a popular misconception, but they demonstrated that you cant really get it up that far on myth busters and QI. 2) Elton John 3) Read Harkovast. And the 20 point bonus question was actually a trick question- if you told the judge you married your sister, you would already be in jail. "NEXT QUESTION!" |
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Post by Hippie Van on Dec 13, 2008 20:46:29 GMT -5
Well since I forgot my last question...how many of those cool really small oranges have I eaten in the last ten minutes?!
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Post by Harkovast on Dec 13, 2008 20:55:26 GMT -5
Oranges are really cool. Really cool like a really cool orange cat. The only thing that would make either of those more cool is to put them in a suit of armour and have them fight against armies of evil. Sadly, there is no comic dealing the citrus fruit in an epic fantasy setting. (if you write one, remember to give me credit.) There is, however, a web comic dealing with ginger cats in an epic fantasy setting! But not just cats! There are Foxes too! And loads of other stuff that I cant tell you about because it hasn't been in the comic yet! This comic is called Harkovast, and you should go read it immediately. In relation to the specific question, the first of the oranges you ate was in fact rancid. The powerful psychoactive chemicals the orange released have put you in a drug induced/orange induced frenzy in which you have consumed over 27 of the little bastards. You probably remember eating a smaller number due to the hallucinagenic effects of rancid oranges (known in Mexico as Fanta-del-loco.) I recommend reading an epic fantasy web comic to calm your nerves and restore balance to your chi flow until the effects wear off completely. Read Harkovast for a couple of hours and see how you feel in the morning. "NEXT QUESTION!" |
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Post by Hippie Van on Dec 13, 2008 21:12:41 GMT -5
Yikes. That was pretty accurate.
In keeping with this theme, what fruit have I hit myself in the head with too many times to count?!
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Post by Harkovast on Dec 13, 2008 21:46:34 GMT -5
Getting hit in the head with fruit is unpleasent. But it could be worse. You could be getting hit in the head with THE HIDDEN FANG, deadly sword of the Shogun. Take a look at the big guy here and consider how lucky you are to have only been struck with fruit! www.drunkduck.com/Harkovast/?!p=480197 The fruit that is striking you is in fact a Mango. An evil mango. 90% of all fruit based attacks involve evil mango's. The rest of the time is an orange that did it because of peer preassure (from an evil mango). Remember, mango's are masters of disguise, so the fruit may have appeared superficially to have been something else, BUT DONT BE FOOLED! Mango's are organised into an evil, nihilistic terrorist group, that is willing to sacrifice the lives of its own members in suicide squashings to attack western targets (or homicide squashings if you watch fox news {though if you watch fox news you probably cant understand all the big words in this post anyway}). Don't let Evil Mango's oppress your right to free speach! Express that right by leaving a comment on Harkovast about how much you enjoy reading epic fantasy adventure! "NEXT QUESTION!" |
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Post by Hippie Van on Dec 13, 2008 21:58:10 GMT -5
Oooh, WRONG!
It was, in fact, the banana. I can't help it. Whenever I'm holding them they seem to launch themselves at my forehead.
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Post by bocaj on Dec 13, 2008 23:01:27 GMT -5
Is my mic on?!
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Post by Harkovast on Dec 14, 2008 8:24:12 GMT -5
Hippie Van, no it was an evil Mango. DISGUISED AS A BANANA! I warned you they were tricky but you didn't heed my warning and now the evil Mango's are free to continue their rein of fruity terror. Bocaj, no, your mic is not on. This means no one can understand you when you communicate by speaking out loud. Fortunately, there is a better way for humans to communicate other then shouting at each other. We can write to each other! A universal form of communication that everyone can enjoy (except blind people, but they can probably have someone read it out loud for them anyway). The best part is, you can type something on the internet, so millions of people can enjoy your wisdom for years to come! But where to post to ensure large numbers of people read it?! And how to make sure the people who read it are the sophisticated, highly intelligent types you would want to share your knowledge with?! The answer is, post a reply under a high quality fantasy web comic, like HARKOVAST! www.drunkduck.com/Harkovast/And with new updates every monday, you will only have to wait a week to find something new to talk about! "I AM NOT JOKING! NEXT QUESTION!" |
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KomradeDave
Junior Member
The Old Fat Ass[on:On zdes', suka][of:Has momentarily faded into the ether]
Posts: 139
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Post by KomradeDave on Dec 14, 2008 11:15:36 GMT -5
I have patent leather shoes. Should I shine them witrh furniture polish or windex?!
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Post by Harkovast on Dec 14, 2008 14:37:43 GMT -5
Keeping things shiny is important. Just look at those evil Nameless in Harkovast! Do they keep their armour shinny?! Nope, and just look at them! Trying to take over the whole world and getting shot with arrows. Though some of them do have nice boots, just look here- www.drunkduck.com/Harkovast/index.php?!p=473704 They don't polish them though, they just tend to get killed and replaced by new Nameless in new boots. Windex is best used, (as the name suggests) for shinning windows. You can even use it on big stain glass windows like these- www.drunkduck.com/Harkovast/?!p=491334 But for boots, it is not so good. AS for your boots, I would try the furniture polish, as it is probably the right colour to fill in the scuffs, and then aim to trade the leather ones in for a nice armoured set, so you will be better protected from the minions of the west (or stepping on things). "NEXT SHINNY QUESTION" |
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Post by Bittenbymonk on Dec 14, 2008 18:42:48 GMT -5
 WHO LEFT ALL THIS EVIL LAYING AROUND?!! THERE'S EVIL ALL OVER THE PLACE!!! why is this?! |
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Post by Harkovast on Dec 14, 2008 18:49:37 GMT -5
That's an easy one. Nameless armies of evil come from the West. Anyone who comes from the West and doesn't tell you there name is most likely evil. So give them a good slicing, Shogun style! If the evil is lying around, rather then moving about attacking people, odds are Shogun has already chopped it to bits. (fantastic picture by the way, I am putting that on my forum!) "NEXT QUESTION!" |
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Post by Harkovast on Dec 15, 2008 8:45:18 GMT -5
Harkovast is shooting up the rankings at the moment.
I am ranked one higher then a comic about a vampire apocalypse, one lower then a comic that was featured a short while back and two lower then a comic that has not been updated in years but has manga chicks getting raped by monsters.
Man.....I hate the inter net sometimes!
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Post by Seventy2 on Dec 16, 2008 2:43:20 GMT -5
Oooh, WRONG! It was, in fact, the banana. I can't help it. Whenever I'm holding them they seem to launch themselves at my forehead. MANDATORY SEXUAL REFRENCE. question, how much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck chucked wood without harkovast?! |
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